shuffle

so i got in.
so did many from my school.
so i feel like this'll be a mirror.
so senior year at lone peak.
so freshman year at byu.
so similar.
so i'm ungrateful.
so i've got emotions mixed nice and frothy.
so i'm tired of this road.
so i want to be going the same direction, but with different surroundings.
so this'll be strange.
so everyone will be joyously celebrating tomorrow and asking me.
"so you got in?!?!"
"so i got in."
"so awesome!"
"so indeed."
so i have friends who didn't get in who really wanted to.
so i wish they could trade me spots.
so they could go where they wanted and i could go where i wanted.
away.
but i am still glad i got in.
after all, let's be cereal, lindsey. you hate change more than anyone.
yes perhaps i do, lindsey, so maybe a change for once would be good for me.
for you.
for us.
mulling and mulling and mulling.
i feel like a horridful, ungrateful, wretchful person.
okay. i want to go. i want to go. i'm very glad i got in. in fact, it was my dreamboat. i'll live close to home, see all my friends leave and return from missions, continue to live in a good environment, and after four years of working hard and saving every penny and escaping hastier marriage, i can leave.
please bless it works out.