aurora

good gracious, these mountains were a sight for sore eyes. (and i love that expression, because it explains the feeling perfectly. like your eyes get overwhelmed with looking at new things and unfamiliar places and when you come to a place you know, that you've seen every day for ages, it's like your eyes relax, like they slide over the contours of whatever it is you're looking at with relief, like their images have been imprinted in your retinas and, when they see something familiar again, it's like they're matching it to a stencil or a relief sculpture, like the image is cradling your eyes. what an expression!) and can i say the ultimate cheesy moment of coming home was when the song "home" by daughtry came on the radio in the car? like i said, ultimate cheesy coincidental moment, but so so great. i was ready, and it really feels great to be home.

i haven't written in a while, but only because there's been so much to say i don't know how to say it. maybe i could do it in a sort of compilation of random thoughts. heck. that's what most of my posts are anyway, am i right?

there is something great about being able to read for fun all day long without feeling guilty. (well, not too guilty. i kind of looked back on my day today and realized the most productive thing i did was give a friend a book to borrow, make plans for tomorrow, chauffeur my brothers back and forth, and make dinner for my family. the rest of the time i spent sleeping or reading or knitting a hat. and i felt marvelous, if a little guilty.) i have four books going at the moment, and it is quite the joy. quite the joy. anna karenina (round #2), the elegance of the hedgehog, mere christianity, and a christmas carol. i say, sir. quite the joy.

family time is a funny thing. we fight and yell and sing and laugh and hit and talk and fight and yell etc. and somehow, we still like to be together, cooking and watching tv and christmas movies and decorating gingerbread and planning fantastical vacations and poking and screaming and annoying the heck out of each other. it doesn't really make sense, but i love it. somehow.

speaking of watching tv. i have a secret. ever since american idol came on, i've always secretly wanted to audition for a show like that. now that american idol has kind of gone down the toilet (at least in my humble opinion--maybe it's just tv that's gone down the toilet), however, that fantasy has lain long dormant. until tonight. um hello, the sing-off!! my family has weirdly been following the show pretty faithfully this season (we are not big tv-watchers [except when it comes to hunting shows/sports with  my brothers and dad]) and the season finale was on tonight. FELL IN LOVE. holy cow. here is a reality show that completely tramples american idol. am idol is about the individuals, and who has a better voice, and who can do the craziest things with their voice, and doesn't really care too much about musical ability as it does musical talent. the sing-off is COMPLETELY different. and a total relief to a music fanatic like myself. it's no longer about the individual, but about the music, and how well a group can function as a whole, minus the drama and the gossip that fuels most reality shows, and plus the fact that only those with a solid knowledge of music (theory, technique, composition/arrangement, improvisation) really succeed, not just those who can belt the highest or sing the clearest. this is reality tv, man. i can't wait for next season.

remember this post from a while back? i hope you don't think me a hypocrite, but i've been dreaming so much about going someplace else lately. (in my defense, it hasn't been because i don't like utah. it's because i want to see the other places, too. like i said, i'll probably always come back. just clearing that up. i love utah.) top on my list? iceland. so much. ireland/scotland/just the british isles in general. so so much. and russia. always russia. there are times when i think i was born to live in the northern countries.

i wish i could just keep all my closest friends as close to me as possible forever. i know that probably wouldn't even be good, but sometimes the thought of changes and us growing up gives me heavy boots. of course i'll make new friends and keep some of the old, but people drift and shift and so will i, i think.


i have a few life ambitions, many of which are abstract and not really quantifiable (i don't really think i used that word correctly but this is my blog and i don't really care) but a new one occurred to me last night. we watched "white christmas" as a family, i for the first time, and amidst the occasional interruptions from my dad ("uuuuuuuugghhhhhhhh this is just a cheese-fest") i came to realize something. (and i also love that movie and bing crosby, regardless of cheesiness.) the women in that movie (and in all old movies, hello audrey hepburn?) were nothing if not elegant. in fact, that pretty much sums it up. they weren't the most physically beautiful women i had ever beheld, and their characters didn't seem especially interesting in themselves, but something strange and indefinable about the little things--the way they walked, for instance; the way they pronounced their words, the way they moved and pinned their hair--made them seem beautiful. i know it was all scripted fabrication, but people like that exist in reality too. i don't really know how to explain it, i don't think many people do, but if you've ever seen someone strangely beautiful, man or woman, you know what i'm talking about. there's something more than the symmetry of features or the words that are spoken, but words like grace or elegance seem stiff when confronted with the real thing. (ALSO, they could tap dance. like, all of them. new random talent to acquire.)

snow must hate me. really. as soon as i leave provo they get 4 inches (in one day!) and as soon as i come here the snow melts and stays away. (rhyme.) but it's snowing tonight, and i say what i've always said: few things are more beautiful than the sight of snow falling under a streetlamp. i always hoped to be kissed in such a situation. (what? can i not put that on a blog? believe it or not, i'm a girl with feelings and cheesy fantasies too, no matter how hard i pretend not to be!)

anyway. happy holidays everyone. and a merry christmas. i love you all, probably.

oh come, all ye faithful -- josh groban & mormon tabernacle choir

white christmas -- bing crosby

frá liðnu vori -- svavar knutur