i look for pretty pictures on blogs at school a lot, when i have nothing to do. (it's surprisingly therapeutic.) and everyone wants to leave wherever they are.
girl in london: i can't wait to leave this town.
boy in arkansas: get me out of here.
girl in japan: i'm leaving for a while, i can't wait to get away.
boy in iceland: somedays, i just can't wait to get up and move someplace, anyplace.
what are you looking for, out there?
but then, i wanted to leave, too. i wanted to leave and never come back, and maybe find someplace brighter, like everybody does, i think.
i still do, but now i'd like to leave, stretch my tether to the breaking point, but always come back.
home is home.
and often, when you leave it, you understand you can leave the good things behind as well as the bad things.
don't these people understand? they live in places i'd give up so much to see. and they can't find the beauty in their own backyards.
few people can.
i'm just barely discovering mine.
when these people leave--their jobs, their crowded streets or lonely houses, their skyscrapers or their palm trees, their enemies or their lovers--and search for whatever opposite, what are they expecting to find?
reality seems to press so close around us, with its joys and sadnesses and angers and euphorias. we think it only exists where we are, as if it's part of the landscape, like a tree or a yield sign. we see faraway places in movies--grass-covered hillsides, glamorous cities, sparkling lakes, blinding carnival lights--and we believe there is a higher reality there, that it's all brilliant joy and spun light, and we think "no one gets sick there, no one is cruel and petty, the houses sing and the people only speak of happy things."
but what do you think we will find when we step unfettered into the world?
if it's anything i've seen, you can only love your ground if you accept its reality.
and once that happens, you can love any ground.
and until that happens, you never will.
p.s. GO SEE TANGLED.
the unthinkable has happened-- i am homeworkless today.
calligraphy pens ftw.
snow is hiding from me.
painted nails--i feel womanly.
dearelder FAIL.
new music PLZ.
roommate bonding SAD.
reading for fun GR8.
not showering ALSO GR8.
dozens of old carpenters checking out my closet unexpectedly NOT GR8.
my closet being filled with all sorts of dirty clothes/underthings EVEN LESS GR8.
not having to think today GR8.
the result being this poorly-worded semi-thought-out blog post NOT SO GR8.
whatever. DILL W/ IT.
sister -- mumford & sons
dory -- grizzly bear
lady in spain -- ingrid michaelson
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake.
ReplyDeleteI love this! I was actually really worried when I came out to Utah that I wouldn't like it at all, but it turns out... I kind of love it!
ReplyDeleteProps for doing without capitals. Stick it to the man.
I really like this Lindsey. So true. Maybe I will record and listen to it over and over until it finally sinks in eh? And thanks for coming to madrigal last night! :)
ReplyDeleteThis really gave me chills, Lindsey. Your blog is so full of life and personality.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I sometimes think I would like to go somewhere completely new. Somewhere created just for me, so I can have a fresh start and a new life, and I can meet knew people and see new sights that I've never even comprehended. But I think the thing I never realized until I read this post is that maybe this imaginary place is metaphysical instead of geographical. This ideal "place" may not be a place at all, but a perceptive.
Don't ever stop writing. You're great at this.